


Feeling Real

by cakefic



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 11:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13500780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakefic/pseuds/cakefic
Summary: Snapshots of Will's headspace at the beginning of his relationship with Sonny. Follows 2012 storyline.





	Feeling Real

**Author's Note:**

> Written in February 2013. This isn't too structured - it was originally supposed to be part of a larger piece. Also there's a dated cell phone reference in here - I wrote this before I had a smart phone/a phone with a reasonable amount of storage.

**August**

Gabi’s body is soft and familiar, and her perfume smells like lilacs. She kisses Will’s neck and it’s almost like their time apart hasn’t even happened. He’s _that_ guy again. Will Horton, star of the Salem High baseball team who’s dating the hottest girl in school.  Before his life was so messed up, before the entire world knew he was…

_Could have made it work, could have kept it up forever._

He kisses her again and closes his eyes, and of course, the first image that flashes into his mind is Sonny.

 _That’s_ why he couldn’t make it work.

He’s suddenly met with that same stinging panic that had jumped up his spine earlier. The kiss he couldn’t let himself want, the truth he wanted so badly to avoid.

Gabi’s lips taste like watermelon; the same lip gloss she always used to wear.

Kissing Gabi instantly reminds Will of the kiss he had earlier. The look on Sonny’s face right before he went in for that kiss, how nice his lips had felt for that one moment before he panicked.

_“Everybody wants to be okay with it. They want to act tolerant and accepting. But the second they think of the mechanics of things, trust me, it makes them sick to their stomach.”_

Sonny’s kiss had taken him so off guard, caught him by surprise at the worst possible moment. Tad’s words had cut him. The thought of everyone secretly being disgusted with him made him want to crawl in a hole and cry.

_“It’s like you have no feelings.”_

He has feelings, too many feelings. He imagines what it would have been like to kiss Sonny back, to run his fingers through Sonny’s hair, to have him here with him right now in bed. To have _Sonny_ kissing his neck, to have _Sonny’s_ fingertips on his skin.

_“Disappointment doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about you.”_

He can’t do anything right. What is he doing right now? Is this right? He can’t even tell what’s right and wrong anymore. This feels _so right_ and _so, so wrong_ at the same time.

 _Screw it,_ he thinks, as he kicks off his shoes and lets his mind leave the building for a little while.

 

**September**

Will buys the tickets, and Sonny absolutely _insists_ on buying the popcorn and sodas.  Will had completely forgotten that Tuesday was cheap movie night at the Salem Cineplex, so Sonny ends up spending more than he does.

“No big deal,” Sonny says, “You can pay for dinner Friday night.”

The list of movies playing in late September left much to be desired, so they end up seeing some action/adventure film neither of them have ever heard of.

The theater is packed with middle-aged married couples and teenyboppers with lit up cell phones. Will shyly takes Sonny’s hand and leads him up the center aisle, to the two seats conveniently placed at the very end

“Best seats in the house,” Will smirks as they sit down.

He’d been to the movies with Sonny plenty of times, but this was different. This was a _date_. Their first real date that wasn’t at the coffee house. He would be nervous if Sonny weren’t so damn easy-going and relaxed.

About twenty minutes into the movie he’s not paying attention to (he can see Sonny watching the movie out of the corner of his eye, and it’s _distracting_ ), he comes up with a plan.

It’s not a very original plan. Even while he’s thinking about it, he knows it’s stupid and corny and obvious, but he just can’t help himself.

He fakes a yawn and stretches his arms, snaking one around Sonny’s shoulders.

Sonny immediately turns his head to face Will, and his surprised laughter is such a relief to him.

Sonny leans in and kisses Will on the lips, which Will was not at all expecting. They kiss for what seems like an eternity but not nearly long enough, until they are both startled by an explosion onscreen and break away from each other. Sonny throws his head back, laughing, and not even trying to be quiet about it.

Will laughs right along with him, hardly even noticing the glare they’re getting from a woman with a perm three rows down.

They make an effort to calm down and end up just smiling at each other. That’s all Will has been able to do for the past few days anyway; a welcome change.

Sonny’s hand brushes against Will’s knee, and he rests his head on Will’s shoulder. Will puts his arm around him again, no cheesy moves this time. He can smell Sonny’s shampoo, and he can’t resist kissing the top of Sonny’s head.  Sonny reaches out his hand for Will’s and they hold hands until the credits run out.

 

**October**

By the end of October, Will knows that they’re in it for the long haul. They spend a considerable amount of time together every day. Will hangs around the coffee house, they study in the town square, they grab dinner at the pub. And when they’re not together, they’re texting non-stop. Will feels bad every time he has to delete texts from Sonny, even if it is only to make room for more texts from Sonny.

Sonny is the only part of his Economics class that Will enjoys or even finds remotely interesting. They walk into every class hand in hand, and no one even bats an eye anymore.

Will is so distracted in class because Sonny sitting next to him, clicking away on his laptop, taking diligent notes. He hardly hears anything the professor says because all he can think about is _Sonny Sonny Sonny sitting next to me. Sonny, my boyfriend. My boyfriend, Sonny, who smells so good right now._

He may be mentally checked out during class, but he’s actually pulling a B+ in the class, thanks to Sonny. They study together all the time, and Will studies even more on his own. He actually reads the textbook, wearing out his yellow highlighter, and takes notes. He doesn’t want Sonny to see him getting a bad grade or think he’s a slacker.

The professor passes back their midterms and Will sees a bright, shiny, red 92 at the top of the page, and Sonny nudges him.

“Awesome job, man!” Sonny grins, and Will is hit by the feeling that Sonny is _proud_ of him.

Will tries to suppress a goofy smile, but as usual, he is not able to.

“Thanks.”

He sneaks a peak at Sonny’s test. _98_.

It’s weird. He doesn’t feel bested, he doesn’t feel insecure at all. He just has this gushy feeling knowing Sonny is proud of him, and he knows it’s all he will be able to think about for the rest of the day.

 

**November**

Will is wrapped in Sonny’s arms, his head buried in Sonny’s chest. He wishes Sonny was still awake, so Sonny could comfort him. He wants to cry. He wants to _scream_. He wants Sonny to hug him, and rub his back, and tell him that everything will be okay.

Nothing’s okay, though. He feels sick to his stomach and absolutely _terrified_. He keeps playing Gabi’s words in his head over and over again, the words that told him his life would never be the same ever again.

Gabi is having his baby. He’s going to be a _father_. He’s going to be responsible for another human _life_ for the next 18 years because he made a bad judgment call one night when he was 19.

It still doesn’t even feel real. He feels so _guilty_ , so at _fault_. He’s messed up Gabi’s life _again_ , and his relationship with Sonny _again_. And now he’s about to mess up a brand new life. _God._

He’s _too young, too stupid, too broke, too_ … _not ready_.

It’s too much too think about so late at night. He loses control of his breathing and is on the verge of hyperventilating when Sonny opens his eyes.

“Mmmm you okay?” Sonny asks sleepily, not knowing what he heard.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Go back to sleep,” Will whispers.

“Nope, I’m up,” Sonny sits up on his side of the bed and motions for Will to join him. Will repositions himself and lays his head down on Sonny’s lap.

“Don’t you have to get up early tomorrow?” Will asks.

“Nope,” Sonny shakes his head, “I don’t have the early shift tomorrow. I could stay up all night with you if we wanted, just laying here.”

“That sounds nice,” Will murmurs.

Sonny cradles Will’s head in his hands and smiles down at him. It would be the perfect moment if Will wasn’t secretly thinking he didn’t deserve it.

Will eventually falls asleep right there, soothed by Sonny’s fingers stroking his hair.

 

**December**

Will stands next to Sonny in the lobby of the hospital, and he wants to just run to his car and drive away. The Christmas party for the kids at the hospital is one of his family’s traditions, but this year he feels so distant, like he’s not even really there. He’s surrounded by so many people who’ve known him for so well for so long, and yet he feels like a complete stranger to everyone, even Sonny.  

Sonny’s the one who’s supposed to know the _most_ about him. But even he can’t know this.

Sonny’s had a smile on his face all day, but Will has been struggling to fake it. It’s when Doug starts singing that he really just can’t handle it anymore.

_Silent night, holy night_

He finds himself walking away, he needs to get away from this. _This song._  He’s heard it at least once a day since Thanksgiving, and it makes him want to vomit every time. A song about a baby being born is the absolute last thing he wants to hear right now. He sees Nick and Gabi happily singing along and his face starts to feel hot.

_All is calm, all is bright_

Knowing no one can see him, he presses his forehead against the wall for a moment, trying to steady his breathing and calm himself down.

_Round yon virgin mother and child_

He takes a deep breath and walks back next to Sonny, who didn’t even notice Will had left. He watches Sonny stand on his tiptoes, eagerly trying to see what’s going on.

_Holy infant, so tender and mild_

Sonny shoots Will a semi-concerned look. Will smiles for Sonny’ benefit once more.

_Sleep in heavenly peace_

The thought of spending even _more_ time with Nick and Gabi later tonight is exhausting. He gets so mad when he thinks about how he got the short end of the stick. They came up with this plan so they could all be happy, but everyone is happy _but_ him.

_Sleep in heavenly peace._

Sonny takes his hand as they head out to the parking lot.

“You weren’t singing,” Sonny teases.

“Neither were you.”

“Yeah, but I’m a terrible singer, I have an excuse. You, my man, do _not_.”

Will shrugs, not really in a joking around kind of mood. Sonny takes the hint and backs off. Will fumbles for his keys in his pocket and finds a tiny candy cane in plastic wrap. He looks at Sonny, confused, before remembering when he had found candy corn in his pocket on Halloween.

“You think you’re so clever,” Will grins.

“Merry Christmas,” Sonny whispers, leaning in for a kiss.

Sonny’s kiss makes him feel _real_ again, and he thinks to himself that if it weren’t for Sonny, he would have lost his mind a long time ago.


End file.
